My name is Samuel I live in Los Angeles, CA and I have male hypogonadism. All my life I have had it but I didnt get treated until I was 20. I am now 22 and currently going through puberty.
Since I was little I knew somthing was wrong with me but my family made me think I was ok since they had never heard of this disease. I always had symptoms of mood swings, depression nervousness around people, not being able to focus in school especialy in high school. Luckly, I graduated. I was always over weight, since I can remember, and had low muscle mass and got agitated easily.
When it came to girls I was always shy and impossible to hold a good conversation with. But I knew I liked females so I always tried to get a girl friend but failed. I had a few friends, but I was always quiet and acted like a little kid. People thought I was wierd. In middle school I had a sex education class, which informed me somwhat about puberty and diseases, but never about hypogonadism. I had told my mom that people my age were growing beards and a moustache or peach fuzz and I wasnt growing a hair on my chin, or arm pits, or even felt that I was growing up, yet they always told me I was.
my Mom's explenation, was that my Dad was barely getting a beard when they got married on their early 20's.
The years went by and I saw no changes, or felt any different, only more depressed and shameful and bad about myself with little confidence. Everybody around me was talking about me, thinking wierd stuff about me, making fun about me. I felt really bad, took everything to the heart, felt butt hurted, so I never went out nowhere, stayed home, though I was never that lazy, just felt tired and without strength.
One time I went walking with my sister to the shopping stores. I decided to cross the street to see a doctor. She immediately diagnosed me with Hypogonadism. Expensive tests verified low Testosterone. I started a small treatment then quit because it was expensive.
I got a job and got Kaiser insurance and started a treatmen of testosterone injections.
As a wild one I tried suicide after having one year of 125mgs of testosterone every two weeks injected in my butt, crashed my second car, 2 months after I took it out the dealer (total loss) while inhailing computer duster and doing weed, after a working buddy, induced me to have sex with a black female, (motel prostitute), telling me that I was gay if I didnt,
it lowerd my self esteem, because it was my first sexual experience and I could'nt even ejaculate. It got erected though. Anyways I survived, thank God. I didnt know what I was doing or thinking, to much confusion was going on, especially because I was wild and still am. Oh well I learned to appreciate life for what it is, life.
At age 20 I was getting treated at Kaiser Permanente while working at Home Depot, paying my own insurance, I got fired for theft. They set me up though. They told me I can take good items from the dumpster to take home. That wasnt true, but the workers that didnt like me told me it was ok. So I got fired. While working there I felt energetic a little more mature finally getting hairs under my arm pits and a tiny peach fuzz. I felt a little stronger, less agitaded, depression wasnt that bad any more with the aid of Prozac. I still had the mood swings though.
I had my first girl friend,(after my vehicle acccident), who I never had sexual intercourse with. She was 14-15, but I felt love for her. We broke up cause she wasnt ready. That what she said.
Anyway, I get more excited thinking about girls now. I can speak a good conversation with my family. I can express myself more. I started to write lyrics with a group and record some songs on beats we made.( I like hip hop). But I still have problems making friends, so I quit the group. I was smoking weed and cronic every day, doing coke from time to time and tried smoking glass (Crystal) and different drugs.
I had gotten another car which police took away for having suspended licence for not paying some tickets. I had no money needed to pay bills. Crazy off a the drugs, my parents took me to the 5150 Augustus Hawkins mental hospital, where I stayed for a month and 10 days. In there I was diagnosed with Bipolar disease and they gave me Lithium which almost killed me from blood poisoning. They violated my human rights cause they wouldnt change medicine and continued to poison me. I demanded them to change it, after a few weeks they changed it to Suprexa and Depacolt and after 4 months of being without testosterone treatment they set me up with an endocronologist doctor in the Marthur Luther King JR. Hospital in L.A., CA.
After six more months without treatment and now being 22, I finally started with treatment again. Doctors gave me Androderm testosterone transdermal patches at 5mg/day. 24.3 mg testosterone.
I put one a day, or even three somtimes, cause I'm desperate to finish with puberty, I still have a long way to go.
I am now 22 and I got symptoms of depression, anxiety, mood swings, anger bursts, imsonia, over weight (iv'e lost alot of weight twice to the point of having loose skin, and I throw up the food I eat when I get very full) and I am still hypogonadal.
I have both of my testicles and my penis grew larger. Im still smoking weed and cigarettes, got bills have no job. Hopefully the application of SSI I filled out will be a success and will be able to get SSI benefits in L.A., CA, USA.