The Puzzle.
Once upon a time there was a small boy. He should have been very lucky.
But inside of him it does not look as it appears, he feels something is wrong with him. He doesnīt find playmates and if something is embarrassing to him, he starts crying very fast.
But at the time he does not ask anyone why he is different and he is getting older.
He lies awake in his bed and cannot sleep.
He is tired and distracted. Its a huge effort for him to keep up at school.
If he is with some of his village, he is exhausted very fast. He is not able to keep up and his heart beats like crazy if he runs up a small hill. He doesnīt know why.
As the boys in his class are becoming 12 - 13 years old, something curious happens. All of them are getting a low voice and hairs are beginning to grow below, apart from the small boy. On top of that his breasts are beginning to grow. Slowly at first, but continuously .
The boy feels ashamed therefore. If there is sports or swimming in school, for a few days before, he canīt stop thinking about anything, other than how to survive these frightful hours.
His friends are recognizing that, of course and teasing him. That makes the small boy very sad.
He feels, it is not good if he is being segregated by the whole class and he wantīs to avoid such experiences. But he can not find any way to avoid it. Now and then he starts crying because of a bagatelle, this makes the boy feel ashamed every time.
But at the time he does not ask and he is getting older.
The boy is building a wall around him and he doesnīt allow anyone getting too close to him.
When the boy is around 16 years old, he is getting pubic hairs also, but he is not getting any puberty vocal change.
He starts a apprenticeship which brings pleasure to him. But unfortunately he is not getting along with his colleagues as his fellows do. He feels the others are keeping together better and donīt like him. This makes the boy very unhappy but he swore to himself, never to cry anymore in front of the otherīs. He makes a huge effort so nobody is able to criticise his work.
Now something strange happens with the small boy. He grows. He doesnīt stop growing. And as he reached the age of 20, he is still growing. He is being accosted frequently by men. He feels ashamed again.
He changes his work quite often. He feels that he is not being accepted anywhere. He does not know why. It makes him sad.
Now the boy decides to do everything to get successful at work. When his fellows are doing activities in the evening he goes to evening school. What else shall he do?
These efforts stresses the young man hard. He is getting gastric spasms and he sleeps worse and worse.
During a gastroscopy a doctor finds out his milt is extraordinary big. But he does not know why.
The boy meets a girl. But the relationship lasts for some weeks only. He and his girl are arguing quite often. The boy can not arrange his feelings and decides to stop the relationship. That makes both of them very unhappy.
And the time goes by.
The young man donīt want to live with his breasts anymore. He hears that men can get removed them by surgery and he takes all his courage to talk with a doctor about it, forwhat he felt shame such a long time. During his visit the boy tells the doctor that he is very nervous sometimes and he feels he is growing although he is 23 years old already.
Donīt be worried, the doctor returned and send him to a hospital. The boy is happy. He hopes his life is getting much better now than before and he is happy he made this step.
After the surgery the boy assesses the doctor removed a very small part only. That makes the him unhappy and he displaces this concern from this time.
Again the boy meets a girl. But again, the relationship breaks after a very short time. They arguing too often and the boy makes an end to that relationship also.
The boy is feeling unhappy very often.
Although he went forward job-related, he still has problems with his colleagues. He donīt understand, why. He takes everything directly to heart and he is not able to deal with being criticised and so his problems at work are growing additionally.
That makes the boy very sad.
The boy is not able to sleep anymore during day. He is dead tired then. He is so tired that he has to stop his car during the way to his work, because he fears falling asleep during driving. He takes a rest although the distance from home is only 25 minutes. He is unable to concentrate any more and he reports sick very often. His doctor diagnosed a hard depression and advise him to attend counselling. The boy talks to his boss and begins this therapy to recover .
Slowly the boy recovers again. Although he is very tired always, he is able to work to some degree. He starts working very methodically so as not to forget anything.
Slowly, the boy feels better again.
Funnily enough the boy breaks a rib and his wrist during one year during skiing although it was a small fall only. That hurts strong and each break took a long time until it was healed again.
Again the boy meets a girl. He hopes he can build up a relationship now and makes a huge effort to avoid any kind of conflict.
The boy and the girl are gathering quite often and they want to have sex. But the boy has problems to do the sexual intercourse. That makes the boy very angry and unhappy also. The girl likes the boy very much and asks him to meet a doctor.
The doctor subscribes Viagra and sends him back home.
It helps but curiously it is getting worse.
The boy is broken-hearted now. The relationship breaks apart as usual and the boy decides to stay alone from now.
But the experience preys on his mind and he decides not to capitulate so easy so he consults his doctor again and now the doctor examines him more thoroughly.
One week later the doctor talks to the boy and tells him there is too little Testosterone in his blood.
This explains everything. The delayed puperty, his lack of muscles, because to build muscles a certain testosterone level is necessary, His social problems because humans are like a pack of animals and are excluding the weak. His breathlessness, because the body is unable to produce enough red blood cells and without red blood cells the blood is unable to transport oxygen. The body tried to adjust that by a bigger production plant (milt). Due to the lack of testosterone the body stopped growing late. The low level of testosterone explains his apathy at social events and his problems sleeping, his fatigue and his depressions. His bones became fragile. His conflicts and his inability to build up a relationship. His problems with his colleagues where he did not get accepted. His sexual problems and his declining interest regarding women.
Since the boy is getting this hormone, he feels better already. He can sleep and is more concentrated.
He is angry for the fact it has not been diagnosed more early.
He wishes doctors know more about it and comparable patients are getting diagnosed correctly.
He wishes there is a screening to find boys with testosterone deficiency so they can be treated and avoid all his problems.
May 22, 2008
Thomas L.
